Kingdom Moment :: National Foster/Adoption Awareness Month

The month of November is known as National Foster/Adoption Awareness Month. As we celebrate this occasion, and all of the people who have been personally impacted by foster care and adoption, I have a special story I would like to share with you, one that is about redemption and love.

Foster parents receive a special call from the Lord to care for vulnerable children. The goal of foster care is to allow a time for the birth parents to stabilize their lives so they can be reunited with their birth children. No child ever asks to go into foster care, or to be in a situation where they need to move away from everything they know. I know a foster family who opened their home to a child almost a year ago. Typically, foster parents are responsible for driving foster children to visits at an administrative building and leaving the child for a visit with the birth mom and/or dad. Due to COVID, meeting with the birth mom in person was not possible, so this foster family made skype calls and had to be present to help the young child “see and talk” with their birth mom. As you can imagine, a very young child cannot hold his or her attention on a video call for very long, so the foster and birth parents began to have short conversations that lead to more meaningful conversations. This would have never happened in “normal” times.

They learned that birth Mom struggles with sobriety, and has been in and out of rehab many times. She is 28, has 4 children (13, 11, 4, and almost 2), none of whom she has custody of.  From the beginning, the odds were stacked against this birth mom to keep custody of the youngest child. I would say that the foster family heard from the Lord pretty early on that they would be adopting this child, and they were open and excited for this possibility.  But their hearts were saddened for the birth mom. What a push and pull of emotions for these foster parents - loving and caring for a child in their home, sharing every meal, clothing them, bathing them, waking in the nights, getting to see “firsts” like a first birthday and first steps - and then simultaneously knowing the longing ache of the birth mother’s heart.

This foster family could have turned their back on the birth mom and let the courts decide her fate. Instead, this foster family chose an act of love and generosity. The birth mom shared the need to move; she was in a bad place, living with bad influences. Drugs and alcohol were all around her in her apartment building. Thankfully, she was able to find another apartment, but she did not own a car.

This situation left the foster family with a challenging decision. How involved do they get? What are healthy boundaries? Could they live with themselves if they did nothing? But they knew this move would help her attain sobriety, so they rented a U-Haul to move the birth mom to this safer location. 

I am always reminded of the unusual cast of characters God choses throughout the Bible: Abraham was old; Moses didn’t want to go unless his brother Aaron could help him; Jesus chose tax collectors and fishermen. God usually chooses those who don’t look “qualified,” but there is something in their heart that God can see.  

Which leads me to part two of this story. In the days of COVID and “remote learning,” our son, Zach, has a flexible schedule. His friend, Issac Dostal, also started working at Wellspring in this season. The foster dad called and informed us of their decision to help the birth mother move, so the next day, we grabbed Zach and Issac and recruited them for the task. We all moved the birth mom who doesn't have a job, doesn't have a car, and doesn’t have reliable friends or family to help in times of need.

We arrived at the new home and began to unload (she moved into the third floor, and there was NO elevator!). The boys were hustling. Everyone was sweating and working together; the job got done in record time. Yes it was disorganized, yes it was dirty, yes it was hard, yes it was painful, and many stairs were climbed! But the birth mom was so grateful for the help, and there was a sense of purpose and service. We had a blast! 

Here is the other interesting piece of this story: Zach and Issac are both adopted. They were able to uniquely connect and participate in another’s story that hits close to home.

Zach and I spent 20 minutes in the car as we drove this mom to her new apartment. We said goodbye to her “old” place as we drove away and proclaimed a new chapter. She began to cry and said this was the hardest year of her life. She declared herself an addict; she acknowledged that everyone was doing drugs in that apartment complex, and she simply could not stay sober in that environment. She continued to tell us more of her life story: her mom commited suicide when she was 9, and by age 10, she had become a substance addict. Her many mistakes led to her losing custody of her kids; she just wanted to get clean and strive for any relationship she could. She knew her child was safe with this foster family.

We prayed; we cried; we proclaimed that God had a plan and we have to trust him. I put my arm on Zach and said, “This is my son. We didn't know where things were going to end up 11 years ago when we met. He has a little brother that lives with another family, and we are all still so close. God can redeem all things.”

The next day, I got a call from the foster family, and the birth mom had voluntarily relinquished her rights to her child. This is a huge move in the adoption world, because when a birth parent does this, it eliminates their right to an appeal - it is a final decision. Not only that, but she was so moved by the generosity and love of this community that she was also at peace with the Lord, his plan for her life to get clean, and for her son to be adopted.

God is working in the midst of COVID: The foster family developed a relationship with the birth mom over Skype. They were moved to rent a truck, pay the cost, and be outrageously generous. Our son didn't have normal "school," so we could pivot and help move on short notice. And a birth mom was moved by God to get out of her situation and start again with the help of 2 adopted children, a foster dad and an adoptive mom - a unique cast of characters, chosen by God to participate in his works of redemption.

Wellspring cares for the foster/adoption community by supporting a life group that meets once a month. It is a special group that has journeyed together for a long time, sharing many laughs and many tears. If you are interested in learning more about this group, or getting involved yourself, you can contact me at sarah@wellspringcolorado.com.

You can also support a foster family by providing respite care for five hours (license not required). Once a month, you could provide care on a Sunday afternoon and help a foster or adoptive family catch their breath. Please reach out to me if this is something The Lord puts on your heart.

Thank you for embarking on this journey with me, and for recognizing National Foster/Adoption Awareness Month! Let us continue to love one another well as we acknowledge the beautiful stories of every person in our Wellspring family, and our surrounding community.